Improvised Weapons Part 1: Car Keys

"I love improvisation" - Nora Dunn

Now, I image the picture above doesn't look too menacing to most people.  I mean, they're just car keys, everyone has them.  You can walk into almost anywhere (with the possible exception of through airport security) twirling a pair of keys around your finger and no one would think twice about it.  Walk into a bank with a knife or a gun even tucked into your belt or a in a pocket, let alone in your hand, and you get a very different reaction.  Sure, as martial artists we learn to fight with swords and knives and sticks and even more exotic things, but what about the stuff just lying around?  This series of articles will hopefully teach you to look at what's in your pocket or sitting on your desk in a whole new light, and I'm starting with one of the most common items out there: car keys.

Now, for the purposes of this article I'm going to assume you just have a regular pair of keys and no pepper spray/kubotan/stun gun keychains on it.  That's adding weapons to your keys, not using your keys as weapons, so I'm not going to bother including it.  It should also be noted that while in many cases you can use your keys as an effective weapon, if you're not careful you can hurt your hand or break your keys in the process.  If you can use your keys to jump in your car and lock the door, that may be a better than risking breaking them and being locked out.  That being said, if you don't have the time to jump in your car, using your keys can add a lot of additional damage to your self-defense techniques.

Changing the way you view the things around you is important as well.  We go through our whole day carrying around items like keys which, in the grand scheme of things, make for very effective weapons.  So why don't we ever think of them that way?  My best guess is just that we're so conditioned to them being ordinary and harmless that making the connection that they can be used as weapons just doesn't happen.  I aim to change that.

Why Keys Make Good Weapons

• Concealability - There are probably weapons more concealable than a set of car keys, but I can't think of them.  Keys are small, lightweight and you can hide them in plain sight.  Like I said before, no one thinks twice seeing a set of car keys in someone's hand.

• Convenience - This ties in with concealability, but car keys are something you probably always have on hand when you're out already.  Starting to carry something like a knife around on a daily basis can take some getting used to, but if you own a car you're already used to having car keys on you.  Additionally, a huge amount of attacks happen as people are getting into or approaching their cars, times when you probably already have your keys out.

• Legal Issues - Weapon laws vary all over the United States, let alone the world.  Some areas allow you to carry certain knives of certain lengths but not others, in some areas things like nunchaku or self-defense sticks are illegal to carry, firearms require certification - I've yet to find a place (again, maybe with the exception of the airport) where you aren't allowed to have a set of keys on you.

• Versatility - Keys can stab, slash, crush, dig and enhance pressure-point techniques.  They effectively augment the skills you already have, and require little to no formal training for a person to be extremely effective with (unlike things like swords, knives or nunchaku).

Three Basic Grips

There are three basic ways to hold your keys when fighting with them, although I'm sure some particularly creative folks could come up with more.

The Spike Grip

To put your keys in this grip, first lay them across your open palm with the pointy metal bit sticking out between your middle and ring fingers.  You then wrap your fingers down around the key, and support it with the back of your hand.  This is probably the coolest looking grip, but the most impractical.  It's difficult to keep the key in place or adjust it, and most people would probably be inclined to pretend their Wolverine and try to punch with their keys held like that, which is actually a bad idea.  If the key isn't positioned properly punching with it can make it hurt your hand worse than the person you're punching, not to mention it can encourage poor punching form which can also seriously hurt your hand.  This grip is good for slashing though, and can also be used for pressing on pressure points or digging into soft areas.

The Hammer Grip

This grip is essentially the way a lot of people would pick up a hammer, or a knife, but with the pointy metal end of the keys sticking up by your thumb.  This grip is much safer than the spike grip as far as danger of hurting yourself, however the downside to it is that it's hard to strike high level targets like the throat or eyes.  This is a good grip for attacking the groin, up into the stomach area, around the back into the kidneys or into the side of the neck.

The Icepick Grip

Think standard cheesy teen slasher movie or famous Psycho murder scene grip.  It's essentially the opposite of the hammer grip, having the pointy end of the keys coming out by your pinky finger instead of by your thumb.  This grip has all the same advantages and disadvantages of the hammer grip, except with the target areas reversed.  This grip makes it difficult to attack low-line targets, but makes attacking high-line targets easier.  Good for targeting eyes, throat and the collar bone depressions on the sides of the neck, among other things.

Techniques

There are lots of different ways to use your keys in a self-defense situation, and I'm sure there will be some that I miss, but here's some of the common ones.

Stabbing - Because your keys may break if you hit bone, when stabbing with them it's best to target softer areas, such as the throat, stomach or between the ribs.  The eyes are always an option, although like I said you run the risk of breaking your keys on the hard bones of your attacker's face.  You can get used to using your keys this way on an empty cardboard box or even something like a watermelon (although it may be a waste of a perfectly good watermelon).

Grinding - Grinding is used primarily to cause discomfort and pain instead of damage.  An example would be pressing the point of the keys down into the spaces between an attacker's knuckles when they're grabbing you.  Keep in mind that in many situations it would better to directly attack them (eyes, throat, groin and other vital or sensitive areas) than attack their hands or cause pain without damage.

Slashing - While keys are rarely sharp, slashing them across an attacker's face can give you a moment or two of confusing and pain to follow up with an unimpeded attack to a vital area or an opportunity for escape.  The exception being slashing across the eyes which can cause serious damage.

This is just the first in a series of articles showing ways to use everyday, improvised items as weapons to defend yourself with.  Do you have any suggestions for other improvised weapons to do?  Have any stories about defending yourself with something unconventional, or a tip or technique for defense with car keys?  Let us know in the comments.

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